


Dilemma

by honooko



Category: Hana Yori Dango | Boys Over Flowers (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-29 03:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honooko/pseuds/honooko





	Dilemma

Rui and Tsukasa were best friends. Everybody knew it, everybody said it. But Akira, age six, could never quite figure out where that left him and Soujiro. Because really, they were Tsukasa and Rui’s friends too. Soujiro recommended books to Rui, and they liked to sit back-to-back and read together sometimes. Akira was good at making Tsukasa laugh, and they roughhoused and played together in the dirt. When Tsukasa’s nanny yelled at them for it, Akira gave his very best sad-puppy face, and got them both out of trouble.

Couldn’t they _all_ be best friends?

~

Akira had come to understand (with all the wisdom of his eleven years) that a person had _good_ friends, and a person had a _best_ friend, and that while he and Soujiro were Tsukasa and Rui’s _good_ friends, they were each other’s _best_ friends. Which was fine, because then Akira was free to declare Soujiro _his_ best friend. It worked out pretty evenly, he thought.

Soujiro pulled a face when Akira announced this, though.

“Akira,” he said reasonably, sipping his tea in what Akira assured him was a very girly, un-cool way. “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously?”

Akira thought it all was very serious, but he stayed quiet.

~

Eitoku Acadenmy was a new adventure for fifteen-year-old Akira. There were _girls_. Of course, there had been girls before, but it wasn’t until Eitoku that they had noticed and appreciated his bright smile, gentle curls, and deep, deep pockets. It was true that few of them were interested in him for his personality, but Akira was able to overlook this little problem.

He discovered quickly that girls were plenty happy to kiss him and hold his hand, so long as he bought them a shiny diamond once and a while, or that new Prada bag they’d been eyeing, or a day trip to Hong Kong or two. But it wasn’t until he almost accidentally snagged the school secretary that he realized that while girls were nice, _women_ were infinitely better. They were elegant and mature, and didn’t squeal shrilly in his ear. They had _class_.

Soujiro, meanwhile, dated girl after girl after girl, running through them so fast, the relationships started to overlap. By his second year, he had three or four girlfriends at any one moment in time. But he and Akira had an understanding; Akira’s older women were off-limits, and Soujiro’s girls were only Soujiro’s. Tsukasa found girls trying, and Rui had grown into quite the asexual young man, despite lusting after Shizuka like a desperate puppy.

But even with these romantic successes under their belts, Akira couldn’t help but notice that Soujiro was never really himself with his girlfriends. He was a cool, aloof man, rich and the son of the Japanese tea empire. He was a player, stringing girls along until he tired of them, and then moving on. Soujiro’s smile was always icy, never the soft genuinely pleased little smile he got whenever Akira lost to him at darts. He never sprawled across the sofas, draping himself in relaxed positions that spoke of being completely at ease.

He never really seemed happy. Akira found it distinctly odd, and wondered if anybody else had noticed.

~

Makino changed everything. Soujiro liked her, and so did Akira. She didn’t put up with Tsukasa’s irrational behavior, and she instantly pulled Rui out of his shell. He drew the quiet boy’s attention away from his unrequited love, and back to something more achievable. Tsukasa seemed more energetic around her, less angry. He postured an awful lot, yes, but that just proved he honestly cared what she thought about him.

She was good for them both. But Makino’s arrival and interaction with the F4 triggered a series of matchmakings by everyone’s parents. Akira was set up with various young women, some older, some younger. Each time, he respectfully declined the match. He was lucky; his father supported his decisions. Soujiro wasn’t; he fought with his parents repeatedly, refusing engagements and sometimes having to sacrifice freedoms as a consequence. The fifth match he turned down, his mother took away his rights to the family jet right before he went on a planned tea-seeking adventure to the British Isles. Akira had snuck Soujiro onto _his_ family’s plane anyway, hating the sulky fury in his friend’s eyes.

“Why?” Rui asked when Akira admitted this to him.

Akira couldn’t find the words to explain.

~

It was after graduation that he finally figured it out. Akira saw Soujiro in any kind of pain, and was overwhelmed with the need to alleviate that pain. Soujiro did so much for him that Akira was pretty sure he wasn’t aware of; his presence was soothing and pleasurable. Akira’s family life was… unorthodox and often unstable, but Soujiro was a constant in his life that he appreciated.

That he liked.

It was a shock to realize that somewhere along the line, he started noticing that elegant way Soujiro carried himself. He noticed the way his bangs fell into his eyes, and how long and slender his fingers were. He noticed the quality of Soujiro’s voice, the texture of his hair, and pale shade of his skin. And he liked it _all_.

At some point, he’d fallen for his best friend.

It was rather unsettling.

~

“Soujiro?”

“Hmm?”

“…Nevermind.”

~

“Soujiro?”

“Akira.”

“Remember how we all used to fight over who would get to marry Shizuka?”

“What? Yes, of course. Why?”

“I changed my mind.”

“What?”

“I _changed_ my _mind_. I don’t want to marry her anymore.”

“…Well, that’s good, considering she’s already _married_.”

“I want to be with someone else now.”

“A clever solution.”

“I want to be with you.”

“You _are_ with me.”

“No, I mean, _be with you_.”

“…Are you saying what I think you are?”

“Yes.”

“Akira, I—“

“Just think about it first, okay? Before you say no. Just _think_. I’ll wait.”

~

Akira had faith that Soujiro would agree. He was a romantic at heart, and an optimist, and he believed that love and friendship would prevail. So he had no problem waiting a week, avoiding the subject and smiling. Soujiro on the other hand grew sullen, easily angered, and waspish. Rui didn’t ask, but he did keep shooting glances at Akira, and Akira thought he probably knew.

Rui was smart. That’s why he went to college.

When Soujiro asked tightly to speak to Akira in private, Akira knew it was the moment of truth. Soujiro brought him to his tatami-matted room where he did his tea ceremonies, and Akira thought it was probably because the room and the tea was Soujiro’s comfort and safety. It was something he _knew_. Soujiro settled himself in his usual spot, and Akira kneeled politely were the other participant was required to sit.

Soujiro made tea. Akira watched; he loved just watching Soujiro work.

Akira accepted the cup offered to him, turning it once before taking a slow sip. It was bitter and foamy, exactly as it should be. It was perfect, or course. The son of the Japanese tea empire made perfect tea every time.

“Akira.”

“Soujiro,” Akira replied seriously. Soujiro looked away, and then bowed deep, low, palms flat on the floor.

“I respectfully decline—“

“What?! Why?!” Akira yelped, his hands clenching on the cup. Soujiro stayed low.

“I will have to marry, as will you. We can’t stay together. It’s not fair to either of us,” Soujiro murmured heavily. Akira put his cup down, crawling forward to put a hand on Soujiro’s shoulder, pulling him out of the bow.

“I _know_ that,” he cried. “I know and it doesn’t matter. I want to take the time that I’m given with both hands, Soujiro. Don’t you?”

Soujiro lifted his head, looking weary and drained and hurt. Akira’s fingers itched to hug his friend close and soothe away that pain. He could tell just by looking that Soujiro had been struggling with the decision, and it killed Akira that he had caused it.

“Can’t we be happy?” Akira asked softly.

“But for how long?” Soujiro asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Some is better than none, right?”

Soujiro sat up, his hand moving to Akira’s thigh. He leaned forward, careful and slow and deliberate just like his tea ceremonies, and kissed Akira. Akira kissed back, putting all his feelings into the kiss as best he knew.

They pulled apart, and Soujiro smiled.

His hand stayed where it was.


End file.
